Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
