Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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