There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
