I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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