i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
