I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
