id be glad to
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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