Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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