I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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