I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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