she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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