i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Non-Jews are for practice
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
