I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
