That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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