Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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