The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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