Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize