Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
