I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want a musical about memes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
