There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fuck appropriateness.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize