Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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