Just fell off a train. Bad.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
