I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
