my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
