Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
