hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
