Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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