Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
