Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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