Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
