i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
