My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
