I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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