maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
