okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
