i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
