summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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