Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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