I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
