Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
