How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
