I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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