well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
