This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
