let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
