nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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