Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize