I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
