So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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