Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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