Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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