i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize