drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
