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I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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