she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Alive.
So much puke
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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