Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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