census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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