I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
