Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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