She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
