Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
