There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Randomize
